Tech Crunch is reporting that many developers these days are intimidated by the sheer number of programming languages. They’re dubbing the psychological phenomenon “Developaralysis.” Although many developers have mastered old, trusty languages such as Java, Ruby, MySQL, and C++, and are able to perform proficiently and artfully in all of them, they feel overwhelmed by the new onslaught of languages such as Erlang, Clojure, Rust, Scala, Julia, Scheme, Swift, and OCaml. And to be frank, I’m pretty sure some of those are sexually transmitted diseases. All I know is that a woman named Julia may have schemed to infect me with scala because I dumped her without giving her any clojure. And now something isn’t right with my erlang.

Tech Crunch observes that it would take months just to comprehend all of the permutations of JavaScript frameworks that are out there. And it simply isn’t practical to properly analyze the wide array of options before selecting discerningly, because the marketplace is time sensitive and does not allow for such hesitation and delay. Yes, sadly, hesitation and delay in this instance are equated with the acquiring of knowledge, and the process formerly glamorized as “learning” is ergo penalized. Clearly, there has to be a careful balance between practicing a skill set finely honed, and expanding upon that skill set so as to avoid becoming obsolete. But it’s a tricky conundrum. Things are advancing swifter than Swift. And what’s more, Taylor Swift has turned down all of my advances. Ba-bum-bah-chhh.

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