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Yahoo! News recently paid tribute to Steve Jobs, by compiling together a collection of his most meme-worthy quotes with some accompanying pictures.

At V+CO, we love the Steve Jobs/Apple cult of personality just as much as the next person. In fact, whenever someone says “next iPhone,” we instinctively just start shoving people down on the ground and running to the front of the nearest line, regardless of whether or not it’s actually a line to an Apple store. 

That being said, some of the most famous Steve Jobs quotes just don’t stand up to scrutiny, or even cursory analysis. Here are a few:

Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do.

Yahoo’s caption to this quote carefully notes that these words were actually drafted by Apple’s Think Different ad campaign, not by the Jobs-meister himself, but the sentiment still aligns with the overall Steve Jobs-cultivated lingo.

First of all, the round peg in a square hole part sounds euphemistic, and kind of hot, so we won’t even go near that one. As for the misfits, rebels, and troublemakers… no, all of them don’t actually push the human race forward. Some of them are just jerks who commit crimes. At V+CO, we’re in favor of a defiant, unconventional creative spirit, but why does that mean we should automatically extend leniency to escaped convicts?

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Are you kidding me? Your plan for society is to create a bunch of emaciated, ignorant people? No. Feed yourself. Please. Seriously, eat a sandwich if you’d like. Be reasonably ambitious, and don’t be afraid to try new things. Develop plans for your pursuits, whenever relevant, and explore existing knowledge so as to avoid wasting ten years of your life discovering something that has already been discovered. Use Wikipedia if necessary. The team at Apple did not randomly design and assemble their computers. They learned stuff first. Sometimes they ate food. At V+CO, we get the underlying spirit of this quote, but we’re concerned that literalists will be misguided into starvation.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

If you are seeing too many dots, you may also want to schedule an appointment with an optometrist.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.

We presented this quote to the manager of the nearest Arby’s, and asked him to reconcile this do-great-work mentality with the roast beef sandwiches we had been served. He was left speechless.

(Aw, that was too harsh. We actually love Arby’s. In fact, if you’re a higher-up at Arby’s and you’re reading this for some reason, consider hiring us to do an interactive marketing campaign for you. Just please don’t offer us comps on your food. Again, just kidding. We love your food. Lol jk lolz not jk)

If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.

By this, we think Jobs means that some type of “Adventures in Babysitting” scenario may have occurred, in which a series of protracted adventures occurred over the course of a zany and seemingly never-ending night. (Wikipedia link)

Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

Now, are you… are you sure that wasn’t just someone from Xerox throwing the brick at you, Steve? It seems weird to blame the abstractness of “life” for something as tangible as a brick.

My model for business is The Beatles. They were four guys who kept each other’s kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. That’s how I see business: Great things in business are never done by one person; they’re done by a team of people.

We also believe in teamwork, but we’re just wondering here: who was the Yoko Ono of Apple?

It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.

This quote we just simply can’t abide by. Here at V+CO, we have the highest respect for international maritime laws. Screw you, pirates.

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