A spokesman for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said that incidence response began immediately, after the agency became aware of several cyber-attacks upon its websites.

The U.S. government agency is responsible for the National Weather Service. The agency spokesmen declined to specify which websites were compromised, and did not provide details on the nature of the attacks. Weather forecasts to the public have not been interrupted or adversely affected.

We here at V+CO firmly believe in the importance of internet security. We strive to establish websites and digital presences that are not only innovative and interactive, but also secure and dependable. In accordance with this mission, we instinctively condemn these cyber-attacks, not with any particular degree of passion, but rather, with an idle “yeah they probably shouldn’t have done that” type of tone.

We are, however, passionate about getting into the minds of these obviously confused hackers. What were they thinking? What passion was driving their efforts? The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration just doesn’t seem like a high profile, ideologically divisive target.

In order to ensure the longevity of the National Weather Service, we decided to put ourselves in the bad guys’ shoes…

We tried to empathize with the twisted minds of these cyber assailants. All four of us began pacing around the office, which is something that we’re ordinarily inclined to do anyways due to the fact that we’re all neurotic suffering from some form of psychomotor agitation. But this time, it was different. This time, we had purpose to our purposeless actions.

We had a case to solve.

Our programmer Mikki was particularly irked. “Dammit, there has to be a reason. Why the f*ck would they try to take down the weather service?!” he cried out. And then he began pounding his fists against the wall and smashing his face into coffee mugs.  “Dammit, Mikki! You have to stop this! We can’t let them win! We can’t let them win!” cried V+CO founder Vahag Dudukgian, as he pulled his programmer away from the now damaged wall. At that point, we all sat down, covered in chips of paint. For a few minutes, we discussed whether or not we would lose the security deposit on our office space, but this conversation amounted to pointless speculation.

The real revelation happened when we all finally went outside and decided to walk off the tension.

“My God, it’s the clouds! All this time the answer has been right above our heads!” declared Vahag, pointing wildly at the beautifully blue firmament.

That was when we all saw the truth. It really was the clouds. It was those strange nebulous formations, all fluffy and white, all full of themselves, just floating around. Doing nothing. Contributing nothing of significance to society. Just blocking our sunlight and pissing on the people below.

Frankly, we think these hackers may have some kind of problem with clouds.  Because if you really think about it, clouds are incredibly annoying. They literally draw pictures of rainbows while urinating on us. Who do they think they are, anyway?  It makes perfect sense that these hackers decided to give these clouds a taste of their own medicine by thwarting the excessive publicity that they receive.  So screw you, complex weather systems.

We will be filing a report of our findings with the U.S. government at our earliest convenience.

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